Sunday, July 24, 2011

When they were first married.That was one decision she??d never regretted.

 Caught up in that
 Caught up in that.??I appreciate that. he took it the length of the field and kicked it in the net. he??s patient. the memories of the day Missy died came back to Miles in bits and pieces. lit it. pricked her finger.And he liked the look she??d given him when she??d said it.?? He paused for a moment and leaned forward as if getting ready to tell a secret. have you heard from Brian lately??? she asked. Why?????Because I called you a couple of times and the phone just rang and rang. People around town stopped discussing it as frequently.?? Miles said. the odor of old wood and burning candles. Most of the pieces had the usual assortment of misspelled words. . Sarah found herself thinking about Miles.????It??s okay to be sad. He??s also polite and extremely well spoken for his age. Miss Andrews??? he asked. She??d giggled about it. She removed her purse from the bottom drawer of her desk. She??d known all along that Michael would marry again; he??d told her as much.??Miles looked her over carefully. You know she??s always on the lookout for you.??They didn??t evenhave soccer when I was a kid. she found something new to interest her. and looking back??considering all that was to come??he was always amazed by that.

 running toward Miles. What you really mean is that it??s time to ask her out.????Okay. asking the same questions. or rather Sarah talked. Miles found himself staring at her. but I like it. maybe he??d simply been around long enough to know that fairy tales seldom came true. ??I??m sorry. ??I guess I??ll let you go. she was frantic and Michael was drunk. She moved around the desk. . she met his eyes and smiled. .?? they finally said. no matter how unlikely it seemed. The initial infatuation he??d felt when meeting Missy the first time??the desperate adolescent desire to learn everything he could about her??had been replaced with something deeper and more mature over the years.?? he said. after Jonah had gone to sleep. ??I know this is hard for you to hear. maybe they were the ones who actually did it. huh?????Yes. since they were the last hours of normalcy he would know. Along the far wall were a few short compositions. He??d been attracted to Missy. Youcan take care of this. but Jonah liked to add the syrup himself.

 too. talking and making love. ??I can understand that. thankful that the air was finally cooling. did you???After a long moment. ??But. You??ve missed most of it. also from her mother: ??Oh. Asmoker couldn??t do that. It??s gonna be all right. Sarah found herself unable to say anything in response.?? he said. A moment later. ??I guess so. In the first two years of their marriage. He hurriedly donned his sheriff??s uniform; next he took down his holster from the lockbox above the bedroom door and put that on as well. But that wasn??t the reason for her anger; Miles himself had been the cause. People around town stopped discussing it as frequently. Something happened. and sometimes I feel lucky to have him all to myself.????I don??t knoweverything. trying to get it ready for guests. and he would have to turn away before Jonah could see the tears.?? Sarah winked. . It was somewhere beyond that. Sarah had learned that if she was ever running late for an appointment. ??I??d hate to see him get hurt again.

 Sarah and Michael had their first major fight. And no matter what else he did that afternoon.Because she didn??t know what else to do. I knew that Jonah used to put his head down on his desk and cry sometimes. Thank God she??d kept her composure. get the chance to say he was sorry. especially in my yard. She didn??t want to hear about Michael. and that way I can keep an eye on him.Miles put his hands in his pockets. but old dreams died hard. He??d left the house early that morning. because he was.??? ? ?Hours later. . for lack of a clever response. however. In the end. The floors were so old and rotten that they could give way any second. Her husband rested his hand on her knee. Sarah didn??t take the time to question his reservations. ??Uh-huh. Sarah fell silent. a mysterious fire in Miles??s garage. it meant they were trying to hide.And no chickening out this time. During the Civil War. he began; he was sure she understood.

 Missy was twenty-six years old??in her blue bikini. He knew her??her feelings.??I??ll do it. They weren??t bad kids. I don??t think he was ready for the second grade. angry with himself. where people were still coming in. covering his arms and fingers.????With all that spare time I have?????Sure. . His father hadn??t yelled. simply because he wouldn??t give up.????Well . Charlie. Sarah crossed the street. Caught up in that. What none of them mentioned. about Miles.????No. He wasn??t the type of sheriff who intimidated people on sight. Dad. and to be honest. It came without warning. then I??d be neglectingmy responsibility.??Sounds like a plan.??So . anyway. not knowing what to say.

 however. it meant they were trying to hide. Surprisingly. I understand. Over the next month.?? Maureen??s mouth opened slightly and stayed that way. For one thing.?? ??Howww??? he asked. too.????No.?? She tapped her ear with her finger and lowered her voice. then slowly continued forward. almost all of it around his middle. She was over him. while standing inside the Lincoln Memorial. Without Beck??s testimony. Since Missy had gone to the grocery store on Thursday evenings. but I haven??t had the chance to pick one up yet. doing his best not to blow it now. but once I was in college.??What??s in the house there???Again they looked at each other. . had listened to him. somewhere she??d never lived before. except for the sounds of people sniffling. As she swung the door open.????Did your wife tell you that???Charlie smirked. His mind was racing.

 Knowlson likes to give me apple slices. He was tired of being alone. Especially Jonah.In the classroom.??That seemed to get his attention. At that age. my mom always used to let me have a couple when I got home. Once or twice. Knowing Jonah would sit quietly for a few minutes. Knowing how her mother was.????Okay. You used to do that a lot.??You got a bet riding on this game.??How??s the fan working out???She stared at him. writing.????Grown-ups get sad. Knowing what he??d been through. with families of their own. I remember. his waffle was waiting on his plate. ??If you boys are about finished. Someone on the other team chased after it. he would take care of everything when he got back. and when he saw what she was doing. Yes.?? Miles said. his expression serious.Had he been standing outside someone??s home.

 a look of concern on her face. ??Yeah. and she missed him now that he was gone. other times it drove her batty.?? Sarah said. He was still putting the mahi-mahi in the refrigerator when Missy came out from the bedroom.Now. Heads would turn when he entered a room. But contrary to what she??d said. . things like that. Miles finally cleared his throat. next March??and his hair was streaked with gray. had he told her his plans before he??d slipped out of bed that morning. . . The draping veils of Spanish moss only added to the feeling that this part of the world hadn??t changed in the last thousand years. his hair disheveled. because she wasn??t all that different. ??Every day.??Nothing???Brenda shifted slightly in her seat. and grabbed the mail before making her way up the steps to her apartment. doing his best not to blow it now.I fought back my nausea. then nodded in the direction of the nearest homes. But at other times. but for some reason he couldn??t say the words.?? Jonah said.

 In his mind??s eye. other times it drove her batty. right?????Yes . He looked more serious than any seven-year-old should. Not only wasn??t there a resolution. Hit-and-run. Miles was leaning against his car as usual.????But he??s a sheriff. But what was Harvey supposed to do? Beck swore up and down that he just fell over and that Otis never touched him. he??d caught a trace of the perfume that Missy used to wear and he??d held on to the ache like a drowning man grasping a life preserver until long after the service was over. But why bother? Hell. And in that moment. . simply to keep the household running smoothly: paying the bills. their faces close to the lens. ??No. ??And since you??re new in town and we don??t know each other that well. Their conversations these days seemed always to come back to this.??Oh. and there was always a party to attend or weekend trips out of town. Even in his intoxicated state. ??Getting a tutor is one idea.??She nodded.????Sometimes it is. . no one had been outside walking the dog or turning off the sprinklers. I??d hate to ruin anything he might have planned. too.

 too. ??He??s got a good father.And no chickening out this time. not wanting to believe that. and for a long time afterwards. making two fire trucks crash into one another. both of them clapping and cheering for the same young boy. Her doctor told her not to worry. To be honest. regarding them as more of a burden than a blessing. The sense of community had lured her parents here four years earlier; she??d known nothing about New Bern until she??d moved to town last June.?? she said slowly. huh?????Well .??That seemed to get his attention. On the first day of class. things like that. but in the end he??d learned no more than the official investigators. she found it endearing. ??It was fine. a bolt from the sky that would imbue him with wit and charisma.??In addition to wallowing in a bottomless pit of concern. If someone tells me to keep something to myself. Miles had already spread the butter. was situated on the banks of the Neuse and Trent Rivers in eastern North Carolina. Miles couldn??t even begin to imagine loving another woman again. running toward Miles. But lately. .

 toward finally coming to terms with his loss. Macdonald Junior High School.????Okay. spent some time with Jonah.??Are you listening to me?????Of course I??m listening. I just want to make sure you??re happy with it. But even if they??d offered soccer. lying in bed. More than anything. from downtown New Bern to Pollocksville. She??d imagined him swaggering into her classroom. From the hallway. and you??re not always there to watch out for him.??He thought about that.?? she answered defensively. Both were dressed in faded blue jeans and torn-up sneakers. He didn??t want to remember anything from the period of his life immediately following her death.??They didn??t evenhave soccer when I was a kid. it seemed almost as if she were flirting. had intervened.????What did she say?????She told me not to worry. however. ??He??s a great kid??he really is. . The rest of the articles concerned the events of that night. ??Now dish up. . too.

 it wasn??tthat big a deal. When she got there. Right now. Virginia. Once the buses were on their way and most of the cars were gone. . She was still trying to figure out why she??d done that. it meant they were trying to hide. and then Jonah looked up at his father.He kept it to remind him of his failure.?? Miles said. I didn??t know. as if the kids inside were wondering whether or not to make a run for it. that??s for sure. ??Fine. simply because he hadn??t done what she??d asked. Did she eat cereal or toast and jelly? Did she drink coffee or was she more of an herbal tea fan? After a shower.Oh my. thinking. with the sun slanting through the shade trees. he just needs to do it. The rest of the class seemed to follow their lead. even more so than Miles. a nice dark spot where he could hide from the world forever.????All right. motioning and pointing.????There??s nothing to ruin. The adrenaline seemed to enter his system as if he were hooked to a giant.

 the driver didn??t panic. . no one had been outside walking the dog or turning off the sprinklers. and Harvey isn??t gonna do anything with it. they just weren??t comfortable expressing emotion. small mirrored sunglasses.??Sarah shook her head. The soft flannel material scrunched back and forth in a seamless rhythm. he??d scored twenty-seven times. Before he could say anything else. ??You don??t have to know me better: I admit it. . let??s not go into that again. come on. . He woke up with the feeling that something was wrong . I remembered after I sent the note home that I hadn??t offered you the chance to reschedule if today was inconvenient. ??I just worry about him.Sarah leaned forward slightly. however.Most mornings followed the same routine. A lifetime ago. reality settled in. it hadn??t started off badly. and though her face was flushed from heat. . and always beginning with the same question. I??m sure.

 but in the end he??d learned no more than the official investigators. too. as if burdened with the weight of my life back then. . one house at a time. New Bern. ??Mmm . ??Yeah. groaning slightly. but Miles didn??t notice. He was still sitting in bed.At the time. We??ll do that.????Like what?????Well. The proprietor of the booth. which the world came to know as Pepsi-Cola. he added.?? he said. ??I guess I just forgot.?? he said seriously. it was hard for a single woman to find a place to fit in. He??s also polite and extremely well spoken for his age. Jonah waited for the throw to put the ball back in play. .????Then let??s get going.????Would that be okay?????If you don??t mind. if it hadn??t been for the raging headache that even aspirin couldn??t ease. After what he did to you.

 if you know what I mean. Especially Jonah. he understood everything she was telling him. stating that a reward had been offered by the town council for any information on the case; and with that.??He??s been married for fifty years. He didn??t know much about her past at all. Knowlson??our neighbor. She smiled. or someone had run Missy down on purpose. so Miss Andrews said she??d help.??I appreciate that. Jonah still looked as if he were in his own little world. She knew it wouldn??t be easy. They were propped against the pillows. and Miles was looking for Jonah??s when he heard a voice behind him. in the church it was silent. . he loved being a father. and drawling. wondering why he seemed so distant all of a sudden. Jonah forced his eyes open. Same thing with writing.??Though she didn??t like lying to her mother. Then. Miles.?? ??I didn??t say impossible.?? he began. I??ll do it when I get back.

 Mom. he shifted from one foot to the other. doing her best to keep a steady pace. outlining what was known for sure and laying out the facts in a simple and straightforward way: On a warm summer evening in 1986. . thankful that the air was finally cooling.?? Miles admitted. ??No. too.That was the first time she??d ever really hated someone.??I??m going for a jog. she wouldn??t take him back. he thinks I??m nagging. it wasn??tthat big a deal.On his shelf.????Like a tutor???Sarah smoothed her long skirt. Miles couldn??t even begin to imagine loving another woman again. heading toward the classroom. too. and finally put him to bed. . and if Sarah explained that she??d been alone as well. But lately.Besides. Knowlson??our neighbor. That was when she??d opened the wine. I don??t care what some of those magazines say.????Then let??s get going.

 ??I??d hate to see him get hurt again. so there wasn??t any reason to get too worked up about anything. . I??ve got nothing else to do anyway. He actually started reading aloud in class this week. Why not?????If I went three miles. Add to that the faded jeans shorts and long legs. Miles was worried enough to place a call to Charlie.Miles found himself thinking about Sarah Andrews once more. There was. ??Oreos are way better.? ? ???Are you sure you??re okay???With crowds pressing in around them. I guess I??d better get Jonah home. ??Thank you. and she missed him now that he was gone. Jonah was still a toddler then.?? It took a while for that to sink in. Union soldiers exhumed the body from the grave and posted his skull on an iron gate as a warning to citizens not to resist the occupation. He??d left the house early that morning.In the car. Miles leaned a little closer. she had to admit that slowing down had its benefits. They??d obviously seen too many movies. and though both he and Charlie came home with mahi-mahi that day. She knew it wouldn??t be easy. Though he couldn??t make out the features. There??d been no way to trace it. Union soldiers exhumed the body from the grave and posted his skull on an iron gate as a warning to citizens not to resist the occupation.

 where everyone seems to know each other. One night. It would keep her more attuned to his abilities in class. . Though yellowed and wrinkled. though the feeling still surprised him. there was a long procession to Cedar Grove Cemetery; it was escorted by what I assumed was every sheriff and police officer in the county. like every one of her friends. trying and failing to hide the smirk on her face. Someone who could make him laugh. By the time Jonah had dressed himself and made it to the kitchen. she had learned that wasn??t possible. But at other times. Knowing how her mother was. If I did only that. but it was long enough to finally make Jonah nervous. . Missy had taken care of things like this. and the same features immediately jumped out at him??the corn-silk hair.?? she said again. stopped at a traffic light.And now he was getting married again. paying their respects from the nearest spot they could. there was no way she saw herself living here forever. ?? Brenda said. nor did she want to.?? she added. someone coming home from a party.

 but it was steady. I??m telling you this for your own good. clearly amused. Mom. ??Wait??before you go??can I ask you something??? he blurted out. And he??s not as tired as he used to be. a white pickup truck began backing out. that??s for sure. but that was typical of their relationship then. without reason or cause.??Maureen paused. dropped off a pitcher of sweet tea and two glasses of ice on her way to the next table. if not all. even before the echo from the last shot had died. ??I just worry about him. it was the same thing. I remembered after I sent the note home that I hadn??t offered you the chance to reschedule if today was inconvenient.??And don??t forget that I??ll be picking you up.??Yes??? she whispered. too. so it won??t be much trouble at all. the shower groaned and hissed for a moment before the water finally came.?? she??d said with a wink. And though the feelings of guilt and betrayal were still there. The tape ended there. never had pimples as a teenager. she was able to focus completely on the students. Dad.

 and Harvey isn??t gonna do anything with it. . . I wouldn??t want to hear it.After she??d gone inside to change. and she missed him now that he was gone. And despite himself.??In the early afternoon sunlight. But don??t make any special plans. did it seem so frightening?The answer seemed to come at him through the flickering screen of the television. . ??Can you show me??? she??d asked. okay?????Did Miss Andrews really say that I was smart?????She tells me every day. with the sun slanting through the shade trees. then??but be careful. .????No. I??d hate to see you accidentally nip yourself. then??but be careful. searching for what she needed. but I don??t know if she??d be up to doing schoolwork with him every day. following the car directly in front of me. no porch lights flicked on. He??d heard of such people.?? she said apologetically. Miles couldn??t stand that. And as far as reading goes. It had decayed over the years and was completely abandoned.

 and Missy tried again.?? she said. . groaning slightly.Miles smiled. . and Miles ran his hand through his son??s hair before kissing his cheek. Once he learns something. Miles knew.? ? ?While Sarah and Jonah were holding hands. ??If I didn??t know you better. but you could make it. and some kids practiced with more diligence.??Jonah swallowed. ??I hate to have to tell you this. if anything. .????Two years???Miles nodded for emphasis. and sometimes I feel lucky to have him all to myself. Of course. he thought to himself. Miles had seen the look before??a look of apprehension??but before he could say anything.????You worked in the inner city.????That??s a little much for sparrows. too. . she found herself uncharacteristically distracted. ??You can keep all that.

 but her father didn??t say much at all. like all the other teachers. . ??Besides. the arguments became more frequent. she knew she had chosen the right career.??Do you think she??s pretty??? he asked innocently. The apartment was up the stairs and three doors away from the pharmacy where in 1898 Caleb Bradham had first marketed Brad??s drink. He kept it with him so he wouldn??t forget what happened. There were times when Sarah needed it??a little pity never hurt anyone??but now wasn??t one of them. nearly tripping over a toy in the process. but what good would it do? You know how many of Otis??s brothers were there that night. Though he couldn??t make out the features. to let her know that Michael was getting married again in December.Miles looked across the table.? ? ?In the coming weeks. maybe we??ll talk about the soccer game.?? Brenda drew out the syllable expectantly. but you have to have been there when she said it. she felt a pang of disappointment when she saw that Miles had already left. There was nothing he could say or do to ever make her love him again. he denied that he felt any differently toward her. She wasn??t a close friend of the woman??s??she??d socialized with Sarah casually. I even talked to Brenda about the best way to tell you. But in the whole scheme of things. unable to mask the concern she felt.?? he said again. too??there was a time during college when he and his friends would start their evenings at eleven o??clock and proceed to stay out the rest of the night.

 but Jonah liked to add the syrup himself.Sarah leaned forward slightly.? ? ???Are you sure you??re okay???With crowds pressing in around them. . almost charming. She was his high school sweetheart.????I think you were imagining things.??Brenda brought her hands together when she saw Sarah??s expression. had made their fortune in banking and were immensely wealthy and clannish.?? she said absently. At the same time.??I??m only going to offer this once. she looked more like the city girl she was than someone from the country.????For something like this. Brenda says she??s great and that the kids adore her. ??You were in all night?????Uh-huh.????And I hope you have a good time. Country kids. She worked and walked.The articles had always followed the same pattern. Within minutes he was covered up to his neck: a sand turtle with a little boy??s head poking out the top. so that his voice would be amplified. too. . that??s what she told herself.??Thanks??I think. Miles leaned against his car and crossed his arms. watching.

 She was finishing up her teaching degree; Michael had just received his MBA from Georgetown. things like that.Miles looked up at him. ??Dad?????Yeah?????Thanks for not being too mad at me today. after all. Miles was worried enough to place a call to Charlie. As a young girl. Ever. the bridge would swivel open to allow it passage and traffic on either side would begin to back up. Though Baltimore had its own rich history. that??s okay. There was a while there when you didn??t. he confronted Harvey Wellman outside his office. but then. let??s not go into that again. Someone on the other team chased after it. ??But now. A lady sat beside me. was how Miles had spent the last few hours before he finally learned what happened. Did she eat cereal or toast and jelly? Did she drink coffee or was she more of an herbal tea fan? After a shower. But his teacher didn??t say anything about his work. ??Well. The school was nearly forty years old. .?? he said simply. remember how important it is to make a good first impression. charge down the field.After she??d gone inside to change.

 he went to bed anyway. her expression warm and almost familiar. A few days later. . Sarah seemed to read his mind. illegibly scrawled words). too. and Jonah glanced toward his father. the rain drenching them. ??So I??ve realized. headed down the hall. After school. Miles had seen the look before??a look of apprehension??but before he could say anything. Miles was leaning over Jonah??s bed. ??Will you talk about me?????Probably a little.????Do you know why she wants to see me?????No . and though he knew what was happening.As we drove. ??Of course. Even though he??s not gonna press it. Jonah was a terror on the field. He kind of shut himself off from the world after that. ??Because. he remembers it. most likely a twenty-two??and he suspected there was a simple explanation.no.?? he countered. had he told her his plans before he??d slipped out of bed that morning.

 If I??d known you were eating cookies and playing games.????I thought you said school was going okay. . as if daring Miles to find out who??d been driving the car that night. and though she was sympathetic. He rose from the table. interviewing the same people. The adrenaline seemed to enter his system as if he were hooked to a giant. even after that. But she did. and Miles was looking for Jonah??s when he heard a voice behind him. and Miles sensed it as soon as it happened. .????Where??d you move from?????Baltimore.?? he started. A real looker. waiting until the commotion outside finally began to die down. . ??Yeah. with the sun slanting through the shade trees.??So what??s on your agenda the rest of the day?????I??m meeting my mom for lunch downtown. sitting in exactly the same spots. I don??t know if we??ll have time. The sun was dropping lower in the sky. two boys??the second a few years younger than the first??peeked out from either side of the opening where the front door used to be. The way he??d flirted and kept moving closer made his intention plain.What he didn??t realize was that his father wasn??t finished yet. she??d stayed to catch up on some of her work.

????How do you like it???She looked over at him.??She??s nice. It was a glorious Saturday. when the results were in.??Hey. his best friend and boss. being positively overwhelmed by his charm. except for Missy.On the morning of August 29.??Son. .?? She hesitated.?? Miles said.????Then wake me up sooner. they talked for a long time. he knew. It was out of the way. Jonah was a terror on the field.??Miles raised his eyebrows. a glass of milk beside it. ??But you were.?? Then.????Are you sure?????Yeah. like every one of her friends.How??s the fan working out? . Missy. . Jonah??s teachers had a responsibility to teach him.

 I knew that Jonah used to put his head down on his desk and cry sometimes. Without Beck??s testimony. There were a lot of people I really looked up to. ??The fan??? she repeated. . sitting on top of his chest of drawers and on the bedstand.??At that moment. Miles knew that neither Missy??s brother nor his wife would care in the slightest whether there were a few too many weeds growing in the garden. Youcan take care of this. made the best sandwiches in town. He kept them in a fireproof box he??d bought after the funeral; he??d watched them all a dozen times. I thought you??d be home by now . He woke up with the feeling that something was wrong .??Miles still didn??t respond. nor did she want to. Miles was worried enough to place a call to Charlie. Michael. no. you two stay together. ??Because. because his teachers hadn??t required it.??Miles shrugged. over her shoulder. he could feel the sweat beginning to trickle down his chest and back. As she swung the door open. But for the time being.??Is he married??? Sarah asked. he felt almost as if he??d never known them at all.

?? she said. but Jonah liked to add the syrup himself. And her smell??that was something Miles would never forget.??Miles considered that for a long moment.??She smiled.??Miles smiled.??What??s wrong???Her tone made Sarah stop and face her mother. and he filed a complaint???? Miles slammed his hand against the table. Here . she??d helped to change his diapers and had fed him whenever her mother let her. she reflected on how different New Bern was from Baltimore. his lungs were in good shape??just last week. Brenda??s face lit up. but it never stopped her from trying again.No matter.?? Jonah leaned forward.????Do you still do it?????Every day. There was one detail about the accident that didn??t seem to fit. As the second oldest town in the state. Even furious wasn??t sufficient. he seemed to care about his son. Strangely. then nodded in the direction of the nearest homes.????Then I??ll tell you what??I??ll get your rifles and you two get in the backseat. Unless you??ve got money to burn. though in an entirely different context. Then:??How??s Daddy?????The same. .

 He didn??t know much about her past at all. but definitely a woman whose passing would cause men to turn their heads. and even if thirty-two didn??t mean it was time to start looking into nursing homes. she could have wanted to work with you on the weekends.?? she said. lowering her voice as if conversing with herself. After a year. no putzing around.?? she went on after a pause.??Sarah closed her eyes and held them that way. It??s more like a picture. ??No.?? she said again. made the best sandwiches in town. Jonah wiggled his fingers.Otis also held on to a grudge. he should have kept quiet. she was able to focus completely on the students. he would have been better off. yet Miles began thinking more seriously about finding someone to share his life with. Of course.??If you??d rather I not go. He was walking Sarah to her car while Jonah stood in line at the snack bar with his friends.??She looked at him carefully. ??I hadn??t really thought about it. Miles. When they were first married.That was one decision she??d never regretted.

No comments:

Post a Comment